Have You Lost Your Zest?

I sit here and I find myself in a pensive mood. I turned on the television and started watching another episode of this series called Debris on Hulu. This episode struck me because it was about aging and loneliness.

As parents, we instruct our children about faith, responsibility, discipline, values, and morals. We teach them love. Our lives revolve around providing for the needs of our children, which change as they grow. Then children grow up and become productive citizens, date, get married and have children of their own. Parents find themselves relegated to the sidelines. If we don’t live near our children, if we don’t have the means to visit often, well, we aren’t … an active daily part of their lives.

Now, I don’t want to get into the details about this particular episode in case there are others who watch this series. Suffice to say that the senior citizens in this episode had lost their zest for life. Although the particulars of their current lives were different, the result was the same. Aloneness. Isolation. Depression. Finally, desperation to the point they weren’t thinking clearly, they succumbed to an extreme solution.

Did you know that, according to an article on the website of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, entitled “Suicide in the Elderly,” older adults account for 18% of all suicide deaths? Neither did I.

The thing that stuck with me, though, was the idea of this “zest” for life.

Merriam-Webster.com defines zest, among other things, as “keen enjoyment.” Thesaurus.com named synonyms, such as, enthusiasm, pleasure, eagerness, and delight.

How do we maintain our zest for life throughout the seasons of our lives, so we don’t fall into aloneness, isolation, and depression?

I believe the best way is by always having something of our own that we enjoy, including during the time we are parents. Now I don’t mean to oversimplify the seriousness of these issues. I am not – nor do I profess to be – any type of therapist or counselor. I am on my own journey of healing and living my best life to the full, joyfully, and phenomenally. But I have experienced moments of aloneness and I do suffer from chronic depression. It’s okay, though. I don’t accept that it’s the end of the world for me. I don’t feel like a victim or helpless over a lack of control over my life.

Me.

I’m not speaking of anyone else or judging anyone else’s life, because, frankly, I just don’t have that kind of time or energy.

No, but if there is anyone out there who this article speaks to, well, I hope that what I say here sparks something inside you that may have been, for whatever reason, snuffed out.

I know I could become quite the hermit, because I love my home, this space I’ve created just for me. I’ve never had a problem being alone because I enjoy my own company. Many of my hobbies are self-contained ones: reading, writing, watching movies. I realize, however, that isn’t what’s best for me. I have friends with whom I enjoy doing things. I love line dancing which none of my friends are into, so I have to choose to go out and find places where line dancing is taught and celebrated. In the process, I know I’ll make other friends, not to replace the ones I already have, but to add to my circle. Granted, this isn’t easy, especially in this era of COVID-19 and its variants. I am fully vaccinated, though, and I still wear my mask. I know how to maintain social distancing. I’m still contemplating my options and, when I’m ready, I know I will go out and just do it. Why? Because sitting alone in the house like a hermit isn’t, to me, a life fully lived.

Of course, family is important, very important. The thing we have to remember, and take responsibility for, is the type of life we want to continue to live in every season of our lives. That zest for living? We decide if we have it or if we’ve given up. Children not nearby and even if they are? Live your life. Remember, or find, a new interest, a new passion. Learn something you may have always wondered about. I know, here in South Carolina, seniors have the benefit of free or low-cost education opportunities. Find out what your state has to offer.

Did you know one way to stave off dementia is by continuing to learn new things?

According to the Alzheimer’s Association website – www.alz.org: “dementia is caused by damage to brain cells. This damage interferes with the ability of brain cells to communicate with each other. When brain cells cannot communicate normally, thinking, behavior, and feelings can be affected.”

On the same website under Brain Health: “Mentally challenging activities, such as learning a new skill, adopting a new hobby, or engaging in formal education, may have short and long-term benefits for your brain. To keep your mind active, it is important to participate in activities that expose your mind to new topics.”

Other things included in brain health are participating in regular physical activity, staying socially engaged, and adopting a healthy diet to maintain good heart health.

So let us do this together. Exercise, be socially engaged, eat well, and let’s get excited about new things to learn. Look for groups in your area that get together based on shared interests or shared seasons of life or anything else that works for you in a positive manner. Let’s let go of what we should have done or regret doing or not doing and keep our focus on today.

The past is gone. Tomorrow is not promised to us. Today – this moment – is what we have so let us make it a joyful, love-filled, grateful, and exciting now.

Until next time…. live well!